Hold on to this lullaby, even when the music's gone.... Chapter 1

Cody Leigh Utz was born in the year 1985. I met her 8 years later in Humboldt, Arizona. I had just moved in with my dad after he had a stay in rehab at the VA in Prescott. I was enrolled at Humboldt Elementary and had never met such a pretty little blonde girl. I was instantly drawn to Cody, she was everything I wished I was. Pretty, long light blonde hair, athletic, popular AND smart. I was kind of a loner at first but since I could do the splits Cody thought I was really cool and our beautiful relationship started. Months after meeting her my family moved from Dewey into Cody's family's old trailer in Humboldt. She and her family moved into a slightly bigger trailer just a couple tiny blocks away. From the moment we lived so close to each other, we were inseperable. Everyone knew us as Cody and Jenny, Jenny and Cody. There is no doubt that we were as close as sisters. She had basically the same kind of childhood I did. Abandoned by a parent at a very young age, thrown into a poverty level atmosphere with drugs and alcohol at our every turn. Not any place I would want to raise my child but that is another post. We stuck together and tried our best to enjoy childhood dispite our situation. We rode bikes to Young's Farm, down to the creek, up to the school and the market where we'd buy ice water for 25 cents and share our hot cheetoes and candy. Baseball games at the elementary school were some of our favorite times, sunflower seeds, licorice straws and bubble gum. And don't forget the boys! Boys always flocked to Cody naturally. But I being the shy one had a little more difficulty in that area. We had lots of our first experiences side by side. In third grade the year we met we each had our first french kiss one after another with Adam and Tony but there's no way for me to be sure who kissed who. We were constantly switching boyfriends at that age. Through the rest of grade school and middle school we were both very good students, Cody's grades were always a little better than mine but that's just because she actually tried. She excelled in PE where I always wanted to sit out. I would go to her basketball games to watch but I always wished I had her confidence and ability. In cheerleading she outshined everyone, in my opinion and convinced me to join the squad our 8th grade year. During that season of the Steelers is when she started chasing after older boys while I could hardly keep a 7th grader for a boyfriend. At this point she was introduced fully into the drug culture of Humboldt and all the experience I had was all what I had seen in my parents bathroom. Drugs terrified me and I saw what a baffoon alcohol had made my dad into so I stayed away, although I was curious.

no more excuses....

So much going on here in the Cooper home this week:
Stockings were hung
No more pirate car
a fancy new toy
declutterization complete

NEXT WEEK WE DECORATE

and most importantly, our baby boy is 11 months old today!

November, November

FINALLY.
Lots of big dreams in sight for this gal.
all I can think about is sewing, shopping and getting a whole new music library.


a few short term goals:
sew more!
buy one NEW (meaning never before heard) album each week bonus points for new bands!

This Charming Little Man!

10 MONTHS BABY@!#*($ I cannot believe how big and smart you are getting! Each day, you make me laugh more and more and the pure sound of your laughter really is the best medicine I could ever imagine. With all the craziness in this world, your heart is pure and beautiful and the wonder in your eyes gets me through every tough day when I wonder if I have it in me.

I love you Sawyer Liam, more than words can describe.

farting around with felt

AND SOME OTHER THINGS I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON...

The top 3 pics are a bridal gift for my beautiful bride to be friend, Joy! Hope she enjoys her R & R basket :]
Bottom~ I was just needing some inspiration for sewing Sawyer's costume and this owl just came out!
easy rough draft :]

Very, very exciting to start working on my best friend Jessica's basket, it shall be my masterpiece! Bahahaha <3 I love her so very much and know how much stress a wedding can be so I will have to save it up all the way til right before she says I DO on May 26, 2012!!!! Can't wait! Lots of fun instore until then too....


To my friends on the coast, I hope the AZ sun shines deep inside of you, that way you will not be too chilly on your travels <3 happy trailss.....

GET IT ALL DONE

The last month has been a mental battle for me. The battle to GET IT ALL DONE. When my eyes open every morning, I check the clock and make sure its an appropriate hour to get going. If I get up before 6 I will be pooped by 10 am so I always try to get that extra hour of shut eye.
Change baby, make coffee, make baby breakfast, wash bottles, dishes, try to get things as tidy as possible, by then its snack time and soon will be time for a feeding and nap. During that morning nap of Sawyer's, I fight off the urge to lay down with him although I am usually ready! I gotta shower and sometimes if I miss my naptime opportunity I will be regretting it while I rush through a shower to get to my very angry baby as he does not appreciate the fact that I stick him in the crib to be safe while I remove the layer of stink from my body. Once I am clean I try to tidy up the upstairs (bathroom, trash, make bed) and what do you know its already lunch time! Sawyer has been such a messy eater lately that sometimes I bump bathtime up from after dinner to after lunch time, so by that the time nap time arrives he will be squeaky clean and comfy. The hour before afternoon nap time is probably the longest of the whole day, especially since Sawyer became this ball of energy and loves to play, be entertained and play some more. Once we make it to afternoon nap time I can get a few FUN ME-TIME things done, which is a daily goal for me. I guess the balance really is the toughest challenge. Balancing my mommy duties with my Jenny needs.

Now, four hours later I will try to pick up where I left off. Today during my "Jenny time" I mostly sorted through my clothes, elimiminating the really unflattering items as I feel like I have to try so so soooo much harder now to feel cute even 20% of the time. So "Jenny time" sometimes turns into laundry/cleaning time. Keeping the place at least livable is a struggle for me, but I strive for a clean house. I do some sort of chores everyday but somehow the place is still a trainwreck constantly. As long as the floors are clean and laundry and dishes are kept up that's about the best I can do. And I have to accept that. I could spend every spare minute of my time sweeping and dusting and putting the toys back in the box for the 400th time but instead I also have to find time for my creative outlets. Its really my duty to myself that I get at least a few minutes of fun everyday. What I really am striving for is a few hours a week ALL ALONE to work on my hobbies. But like everything else, being the me I want to be is a constant work in progress. Since I got lots of crafting done early this morning during some down time tonight I am enjoying a lovely fire that I prepared earlier this morning. Of course, I have to put my dining chairs up in front of it to keep the baby away, its still really nice to have a few minutes of quiet while the baby plays to type. I feel once I clear out some of my thoughts on my blog I have room for more fresh, inspired thinking. Just gives me some perspective once I see things out in black and white.Well, now its time for Sawyer time, and snuggling on the couch sounds like a great idea....

Fantastically Falling < 3

Our first chilly week since spring and I am more than welcoming that brisk feeling of fall. Especially when we just stocked up on firewood and my husband is outside chopping it all up for us. I have so many things on my plate right now, I just want to blog it all out so I can see everything in black and white instead of floating around in the space between my ears!

FINALLY BACK TO MY NORMAL SIZE, small!!! I really had forgotten that I am actually a small person so it feels super good to be wearing outfits I haven't been able to squeeze back into until now...  If I can do it, anyone can! Sure, it took me 9 months, but that's how long it took to put it on so it makes sense.

My hubby and I went on our first date since the baby last night! SHAME ON US FOR NOT DOING IT SOONER!  It was so fun and freeing! The air outside was so chilly but it was nice to warm up in a beautiful, new to us restaurant. It made me feel so young and pretty, to be able to get all dressed up just for William <3